Jasmine Hart

Yay, a sonnet! I love sonnets. If you're interested in them,there's a brilliant anthology called "No Bliss Like This", which is definitely worth a read. Your meter is perfect and ...

This is really interesting. I love how you put forward the horse's persona. It's also effective how you make the poem circular by linking the end to the beginning, and ...

I love this. It's very clever, and flows very well. It's also very original. Stanzas two and three were particularly witty, and the ending is very effective. I'm not sure ...

This flows well and the imagery is good. I especially like; "sour pills long fermenting in your sidestreet pockets", "Your hands flutter to stopper my thrashing veins, " and "splinted ...

I really enjoyed this, as usual. I agree that the first two lines are too much. I think they're more telling than showing. I'd try to paint more of a ...

The theme is good, and you manage happy poetry very well. "What Are We? Dancing on the playful breeze , Resting in the notches of trees ( I like this ...

Rather than looking at how you're in pain, I'd try thinking about why you are, and describe the scenes. I like how you turn things around at the end; that ...

Hi Turtle. Welcome to YWS. This flows well, and the ending is effective. I'd only use the refrain at the beginning and the end, as it gets a little tedious. ...

Heehee. That was brilliant! I especially loved "Malfoy: Hey, you’re badder than I gave you credit for, Mud-Blood. Wanna go out on Saturday? We can grab a Firewhisky together at ...

This amused me. :) I love the rhyme, and I love the dark humour. I really loved the contrast in; "until the blood bathed our sultry skin." I also love ...

The rhythm of this is hypnotic. I'd cut "when" and "and" from the first stanza.I love "rubble rings" and "vermin delegates". Your imagery is great. I'd change "man" to "men." ...

I love the rythm of this. "Proud children tilt their blackened heads, limbs rustled by the breeze as sunlight dapples on red hems of petticoats, to their knees. Great laughter ...

I love it, but then, what else is new? The narrative voice is great, and has a sort of childishness about it which works effectively with the theme, the whole ...

This is nice. I like the idea behind it and how it starts slowly and winds down towards the end. I'd change "tumble". If you're dancing gracefully, you're unlikely to ...

I think I'm missing something, so I'm not sure how much use my review will be to you, but I'll give it a shot. I love the first line, it ...